Looking back I now realise I was under a great deal of pressure. As my ex withdrew more of  her attention and care from my son so my work load at home increased. I tried to take some pressure off my shoulders at the restaurant by delegating more responsibility to my senior members of staff and by affectingly making myself a figurehead manager. But this, though an excellent idea I thought, back fired on me because I was then made redundant. My support staff were so good at their jobs the owners felt I was not needed. Truth be told, I was burnt out and not really capable of doing as good a job as I had done in the past for them. I was able then to spend more time with my son while I looked for another job, giving his mother even more opportunity to hand over the care of him to me.

I found another job which was about a 40 minute commute. As it was another managerial role it required a manager's focus. Sadly this I could not provide. I was now so concerned about my son's care that I could not give this new position the passion and drive it deserved. After a little over three weeks they asked me to leave. For someone who had managed restaurants for a great deal of his life, gaining awards along the way, this was a little demoralizing to say the least. But my abiding feeling through it all was relief because I was able to carry on being the main carer for my son. Also around this time his mother got herself a job, and that was that; she was gone like a bullet out of a gun. She saw an opportunity to get herself off parent duty and she took it. That was when I knew it was time to go, but with my son. I could never leave him with her as it would have been disastrous, if not catastrophic.

 It was not difficult to end the marriage. In reality it had ended some months previous. It was just a question of getting it out in the open and finalising the details. She gave no resistance to my request to take my son; she felt it would be better (because she was having far to much fun now). Her ego told her I would return within a few weeks. I knew that was never going to happen