At age 14 now my son has begun to grapple with the fact he has autism .He does not describe himself as being autistic, but rather as having autism ,to me the distinction is important .It shows me, how he views himself, and his daily challenge with autism. To me it means that in his mind autism does not define him but rather it is something he is faced  with every day .

Recently I was teasing him about one day having a girlfriend and even one day making me a grandfather ,but he rebuked me and said that it would never happen .
Of course it will happen I said ,' any girl would be lucky to have such a sweet kind and caring person as a boyfriend .'
'But Dad 'he replied ' I have autism and that makes me different and a little bit strange , sometimes it becomes too much and I am overwhelmed and I need to calm down ,I don't think that is good boyfriend material .

While listening to his words part of me was jumping for joy ,finally after all these years he was now able to articulate to me how it felt to be him ,and another part of me was feeling very sad for him . I was also wondering how committed he was to abandoning all hope of ever being in a relation ship. Or was this in fact his way of hedging his bets .

I think the latter , and on reflection ,he is not really acting any different from other boys of his age.
I can take heart I feel from the fact that he is able to be so open ,about his autism ,at least with me that is .