As part of my drive to encourage more independence in my son I have bought him an alarm clock. We had a practice run , I showed him how to turn it off and told him it was only for school mornings or days when we had to be up early . The idea being that he will get used to getting himself out of bed . Well the first morning was really quite dramatic, I off course was expecting it to go off so was waiting in anticipation for his reaction.
The sound of the ringing was drowned by my son shouting "Oh my God Oh my God ". As he dived to grab the clock and turn off the alarm. To his credit though he did not complain and it was not until the third day, of these rude awakenings, that he asked me why I had decided to get him an alarm clock." Well " I said "now that it is getting close to you going to high school , I thought it would good for you to be more independent, getting up in the morning on your own , Is part of that"
"Oh " he replied "OK" and said nothing more .
I know my son wants to grow up and do grown up things, I know he is excited about going to High school and I am counting on his enthusiasm for this new time in his life , to inspire more independence in him. I am hoping he will be swept along on the tide of all of his peers and their first steps into young adult hood . But it is definitely not a case of sink or swim ,he will receive a lot of support.
At the High School he will attend they have a special department set up for children such as him. At present his head teacher is applying for a tablet for him to use at school. He will be allocated a 'buddy' to help him .I am sure it will be quite daunting for him to have to pack up everything every hour or so to move from class to class. There is also a quiet room where he can escape too if it all gets to much and it will be explained to him that he can do this at any time. The amount of pupils at the High School is about 5 times the amount at his primary.That in itself gives my son a challenge along with all the other things he will be trying to cope with.
I am confidant though, that I will be the one having a panic attack before him.
Thursday 28 November 2013
Friday 8 November 2013
I find myself of late pondering the future ,not mine you understand but my sons ,having negotiated most of primary school with few incidents, my son is now in his last year. He will begin secondary in August of 2014. If I don't take him to the secondary he will have to get a bus .So we are going to have a few practice runs, where I will gradually introduce him to independent travel. First I think I will travel on the bus with him looking at the various landmarks,then he can do the trip himself. I remember myself at that age worrying when I was on the bus that I might miss my stop.So this is likely to be a very interesting time.
As I am a lone parent,( as we are now called officially ) and only work part time, I often think about, my son's ability to be independent. I would like very much to be able to work full time but this is not looking likely for at least the next year or so. At present on the school mornings, although I do not have to dress him any more, he takes a very long time to dress himself unless I am constantly encouraging him . To think of him doing this alone, because I would be starting work around 5 or 6 in the morning , is inconceivable to me. Preparing himself breakfast is another hurdle to overcome. The one constant in his behaviour is his habit of going off task. He has overcome so many things , he tries new foods, he is less afraid of cats and dogs , his writing improves on a weekly basis. But teaching him to concentrate on one thing and one thing only until that thing is done is proving to be very difficult.
It is not as if he does not have a sense of urgency, because he most definitely does. When there is something he is interested in, a new Dr Who, a new bop it toy, an opportunity to skype with his mum he is very motivated. But he can not seem to muster that motivation at will for some of the more mundane tasks in life. We are all of us after all doing something at some point in our days as an end to a means and the more mundane activities in life are unavoidable , but sadly necessary.
I am at a loss as to how to convey to him that, his dressing slowly has a direct effect on what time he gets to school. Almost as if he see's the things he does as little play-lets, which he subsequently pigeon holes in a place in his brain .The more interesting play-lets he summons in to his mind at will when he is involved in a less interesting task, ie getting dressed for school. This can then lead to him laughing loudly with a look of satisfaction on his face."Why are you laughing " I will ask.
"I am laughing about "..................... and then he will relate something to me that may have happened weeks, months, or even years ago.
If he has a reason for anything that he is doing he does it with great focus, if he perceives what ever task he is on as important then the task gets done diligently. I am hoping that as he enters puberty and starts to take more of an interest in his appearance (not just dressing up) perhaps then he will be more independent dressing himself in the morning. Only time will tell .
As I am a lone parent,( as we are now called officially ) and only work part time, I often think about, my son's ability to be independent. I would like very much to be able to work full time but this is not looking likely for at least the next year or so. At present on the school mornings, although I do not have to dress him any more, he takes a very long time to dress himself unless I am constantly encouraging him . To think of him doing this alone, because I would be starting work around 5 or 6 in the morning , is inconceivable to me. Preparing himself breakfast is another hurdle to overcome. The one constant in his behaviour is his habit of going off task. He has overcome so many things , he tries new foods, he is less afraid of cats and dogs , his writing improves on a weekly basis. But teaching him to concentrate on one thing and one thing only until that thing is done is proving to be very difficult.
It is not as if he does not have a sense of urgency, because he most definitely does. When there is something he is interested in, a new Dr Who, a new bop it toy, an opportunity to skype with his mum he is very motivated. But he can not seem to muster that motivation at will for some of the more mundane tasks in life. We are all of us after all doing something at some point in our days as an end to a means and the more mundane activities in life are unavoidable , but sadly necessary.
I am at a loss as to how to convey to him that, his dressing slowly has a direct effect on what time he gets to school. Almost as if he see's the things he does as little play-lets, which he subsequently pigeon holes in a place in his brain .The more interesting play-lets he summons in to his mind at will when he is involved in a less interesting task, ie getting dressed for school. This can then lead to him laughing loudly with a look of satisfaction on his face."Why are you laughing " I will ask.
"I am laughing about "..................... and then he will relate something to me that may have happened weeks, months, or even years ago.
If he has a reason for anything that he is doing he does it with great focus, if he perceives what ever task he is on as important then the task gets done diligently. I am hoping that as he enters puberty and starts to take more of an interest in his appearance (not just dressing up) perhaps then he will be more independent dressing himself in the morning. Only time will tell .
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