Adapt the syllabus

                                If I was in charge of my sons education ? What would I do ?

The education system in this , or any other country , for that matter , is by no means perfect . And as far as educating  children on the autistic  spectrum who attend main stream school . Well I would venture it is still in its infancy . There is more to be learned about how autistic children learn . My son watches and listens intently at first before he actually does anything , which really confuses some teachers . but once he has assimilated what he feels is enough information , he takes part .

This , I don't think is the way all autistic children learn , but I am sure there are a lot who do. He has a photographic memory and is able to store information in his mind unlike the majority of the population . When he wants he can find the information , It was explained to me once that he learns in steps , first on a flat bit , then a steep climb , then on a flat bit again . The flat bit is the assimilating part , the climb is the learning . Which he does voraciously .

Would I have classrooms full of only autistic children  ? No
Would I have autistic children integrated ? Most definitely .
Would I single out those children . Separate their learning from non autistic children ? Not in secondary school .
Would I adapt the syllabus in order to teach the class as a whole . !00% yes .
Because that is real life . As I know you have heard many times , it takes all sorts to make a world ,

I don't actually know if my son's classes are adapted to accommodate his autism , I do know that he receives support . Which to a teenage boy ( or girl ) autistic or not , could prove to be embarrassing . I must ask more questions when I am invited to his educational meetings . But it seems to be coming clear to me now , that the teachers are on a learning curve as far as educating children on the spectrum,

I don't expect them to admit to that , why would they , it would come across as unprofessional . It can be frustrating though , as parents of autistic children are by the nature of their experiences , the experts. But so far to date we are not involved collectively in the structuring of the curriculum .  

I have attended forums , organised to improve the holiday playscheme's of autistic children but not forums on their education . Forums such as this , I think could  go a long way to help better educate our autistic teenagers .

Cross the Ts dot the I s

Just when you think everything is cruising along . All the t;s are crossed i;s dotted not even a thought to the p;s and q;s .

I have been looking for some time now for a club or group my son could join ,one that caters for teenagers on the spectrum . I have noticed in the past how he visibly relaxes when he knows he will be joining other children who face the same challenges as he does. He has a good friend who is also ASD (high functioning ) and they enjoy spending time together . Naturally they have an unspoken understanding of one another ,an understanding neither could share with some one of their own age, not on the spectrum .

For some reason the clubs for teenage autistic children start at age 15 , somebody made that decision it would seem without actually asking anybody who had an autistic 13 or 14 year old . Hard enough as it is to be autistic and a teenager , but to be lumped in with children younger than yourself . I am sure a person is going to start to feel like a spare part .

As it was I found a club that I thought he would like to join . So at the appropriate moment I suggested to my son that it might be a good idea or maybe even a great idea to join said club .

' Oh no ' came the reply . ' There is no way I am joining any club ' he said adamantly .
' I want to be seen as a normal boy I don't want to join some autistic club ' .

' Well ' I said ' First of all let me tell you there is no such thing as normal ' then after taking a deep breath and digesting what he had just told me .

I said . ' That is fine , no problem , if you don't want to then you certainly don't have to '.

For a moment I found myself longing for the days when he was younger when it was so much simpler , with none of the teenage angst to contend with . One thing was certain he had made it very clear to me how he was feeling at this stage of his development . I spent a little time trying to explain my understanding of what normal is and how in fact there really is no such thing , every living human has some quirk or slightly eccentric view of the world . If we could read the thoughts of our fellow passengers on the bus of a morning , we would I am sure be most surprised and perhaps a little overwhelmed by what we were discovering about the ''normal human condition ''.

My response to his reaction , was I felt clumsy , but I did my level best to take the opportunity to help him understand that basically . ' It takes all sorts to make a world ' as my Grandma used to say .

Guitar Lessons

Education in our society is a must ,without it we can not advance .It matters not in what form this education comes , be it theoretical , practical hands on, watching TV ,or perhaps looking out the window of the bus . The fact of the matter is we need it .

Schools of course provide a formal structure to education and ultimate advancement in life. In this country we can get it for free up to the age 18 , for which I am truly grateful . however providing free education does not mean the educators can not be brought to task . Most especially I feel when it comes to the education of children on the spectrum .

I , as a parent of a child with autism  don't see his autism as others do , I see it as something to be capitalised on , something that if truly recognised can in fact elevate my child above others . But of course I am a parent so it is only natural I would feel this way .

Since he first started to learn to write my son has had difficulty , at first it was thought he did not have the strength in his wrist and hand to properly hold a pen or pencil and for this he was given an attachment for  his pencil to improve his grip , I organised guitar lessons for him thinking I could achieve two goals , one to satisfy his musical curiosity and two to help strengthen his hands .

Both goals were met. Although his writing improved it has never reached a level that would be acceptable on an exam paper. Since around the age of 6 my son has used a mini computer called an 'alpha smart' at school ,( his typing skills are astonishing ). Just like we judge people on appearance , I fear his intelligence was being judged by the standard of his writing .

Sadly and much to my disappointment when it was time this term to attend the parents teachers evening , in which the parents were to discuss the choice of subjects for their children . I discovered that only in some of his subjects was he being encouraged to use the 'alpha smart 'and that the teachers of each subjects were not discussing my sons education .

The teachers using the  'alpha smart ' and getting the best results were not communicating this to the teachers who were allowing him to write free hand . He was most definitely having greater difficulties in the classes where he was writing free hand .

One of his teachers actually said to me ' I am beginning to be able to understand what he is writing ' as if that was an achievement , and if she was to be marking his exam papers that would be excellent .  It does not work that way in our school system.

 

I don't want the person marking my son's exam papers to be told he has autism. I am pretty sure that will not be the case . I know that my son most emphatically does not want the person marking his exam papers to know he has autism .

What I have recognised , is that in educating my son ,his teachers have to do it with a nod and a wink .

We know you have autism , we know, you know , we know . Now lets get down to the best possible way of educating you .

Pining for Primary

  Now that my son has been at secondary school for almost 2 years I am finding myself pining for the days he was at primary. Then the communication I had with the school was excellent .If I wanted to I could speak with his teacher every day ,if I had any concerns .There were less than 300 pupils and by primary 3 my son was well known and well supported within the school .

Now however things are very different . I can email his teachers even telephone his guidance teacher.I will always get a positive response, but it is not the same , he is one pupil amongst 1400 .
A very different dynamic , and as such I feel a little out of touch , much as I did when he first got his diagnosis at age 3 and 1/2 .

I am sure it is not the intention of the school to make me feel this way ,but sadly I do . I long gave up trying to understand autism or even think about the cause . I have instead decided to go along for the journey with my son at the helm , after all he is the one in the eye of the storm. Like any parent I will have advice and experience to pass on .My son is on a unique journey of his own ,the whys and wherefores whilst maybe somewhat enlightening, do not adequately deal with the here and nows .


And as every parent discovers over time ,good teachers are like diamonds ,and for my son , good teachers are the difference between him dipping his toe ,or him diving in ,to a subject . Good teachers are invaluable to all they teach . To some one who has in my view a higher hill to climb , good teachers are the connection he needs to the world where his disability is not in the majority .

At age 14 now my son has begun to grapple with the fact he has autism .He does not describe himself as being autistic, but rather as having autism ,to me the distinction is important .It shows me, how he views himself, and his daily challenge with autism. To me it means that in his mind autism does not define him but rather it is something he is faced  with every day .

Recently I was teasing him about one day having a girlfriend and even one day making me a grandfather ,but he rebuked me and said that it would never happen .
Of course it will happen I said ,' any girl would be lucky to have such a sweet kind and caring person as a boyfriend .'
'But Dad 'he replied ' I have autism and that makes me different and a little bit strange , sometimes it becomes too much and I am overwhelmed and I need to calm down ,I don't think that is good boyfriend material .

While listening to his words part of me was jumping for joy ,finally after all these years he was now able to articulate to me how it felt to be him ,and another part of me was feeling very sad for him . I was also wondering how committed he was to abandoning all hope of ever being in a relation ship. Or was this in fact his way of hedging his bets .

I think the latter , and on reflection ,he is not really acting any different from other boys of his age.
I can take heart I feel from the fact that he is able to be so open ,about his autism ,at least with me that is .