I feel it is important to make some mention of the so called qualified people who insist that autism is something that can be cured, I am off the opinion,  it can no more be cured than being gay can be cured,  but that does not stop people trying to cure gay and autistic people. I really do not know, so I am only making a guess here, but when faced with a child on the autistic spectrum any parent is going to first do a lot of research then look at the not so conventional methods out there for the so called cure for autism which I should repeat does not exist.

I have come to this conclusion simply because in my opinion the fundamental effects of autism on any child or adult is emotional, that is to say emotions are felt more keenly by people on the spectrum. How do you cure emotions? Not all autistic children are the same as their heightened senses affect them in different ways, granted there are many similarities, but one child might hate to eat chicken while another will only eat chicken. My son on first meeting him can be very sociable but if physical affection comes into play he can be very stilted and awkward, some autistic children give the most amazing hugs and so on.


What worries me and also makes me a little angry are the people who profit from all of the confusion, the people who profess to have had made noticeable progress with autistic children,  when the child was going to progress anyway. The people who charge exorbitant fees for so called cures that have no scientific basis and are just pure conjecture.  

What I am trying to say is autism is not tangible, you can find no evidence of it, it is not the colour black, a heart doesn't beat faster or slower,  they say there is an anomaly in the brain, but only after using the most sophisticated M.R.I. scan can this be detected and it is more to do with firing neurons than a defect or mutation.So is that the firing neurons of an autistic child or does an autistic child fire these kind of neurons or did the autism develop very early in pregnancy and these firing neurons only confirm what has already been diagnosed. Or is the only difference that the child has heightened senses,  that when exposed to our modern world can not cope so implode.


You tell me. Trouble is you can't. Because you don't know.

When I first received the diagnosis for my son my biggest and most overwhelming fear was that he would not progress, that he would stay the same.From age two' to the time of the diagnosis at age three and six months' he had barely learnt anything, or so it seemed to me. Although we could play and have great fun together it seemed like he was not learning. He was eating and growing but his intellect did not seem to grow. At his preschool they were trying some techniques to help his cognitive skills progress,  but it seemed like very slow progress,  and if he did not attend for a few days, he appeared to have forgotten everything.

I am a little ashamed to admit it but of all things,  if he did not progress it would have been the hardest thing for me to come to terms with. I love my son and no matter what it is unconditional. I would do whatever to make his life a happy one but if he had stayed more or less the same I would have found that very challenging.    As it was though that did not happen and he has made progress consistently since the diagnosis. I most definitely think that without all the help and support he has been given, he would have taken a lot longer to get to where he is now and none of this would have happened without the diagnosis.

In my minds eye I liken my sons path to independence like that of a child learning to ride a bike. I am running behind him holding the saddle waiting for the right time to let go so he can cycle on his own. The only thing is I have been running for a long time and there are others running along side me. We are all cheering my son on  almost willing him to cycle on his own.

I am sure I am not alone, with what I thought originally,  and I am sure there are many parents who like me still grapple with a small amount of guilt. But when all said and done we all of us just want the best for our children, and when faced with having a child who not only has to overcome the day to day challenges of living but also has to learn a whole set of coping skills whilst trying to keep up with their peers, it can be no surprise that hoping and praying for any kind of progress would be a natural thing.

Now I am very confidant my son will achieve independence.

Every night to settle my son into sleep we have a ritual,  that took perhaps two or three months to perfect, it is essential we follow this ritual otherwise he would find it very difficult to fall asleep.It started when one night he was having trouble sleeping so I told him, "why not dream about something that makes you happy"."Like what Dad "was his reply. So from that day I have to come up with a dream he can have and woe betide me if I repeat a dream. There then follows a whole speech I have to do, as follows:

You could dream about being a detective, you could dream about you and me , packing a suitcase, going to St Johns road , to catch a Taxi to the airport to get on a plane to go to Hollywood. You could dream about eating an Eiffel tower made out of french fries, or perhaps eating a Buckingham palace made out of chocolate, or perhaps even a Edinburgh castle made out of chocolate. You could dream about taking a trip to Disney land Paris , or Disney Land Florida ,or perhaps even Disney land California.You could dream about jumping off the moon on to your bed, you could dream about mummification, you could dream about making an advert. You could dream about eating an Empire State Building made out of oat cakes. Finally you could dream about taking a trip on an Ocean Liner that has three restaurants, two swimming pools , two cinemas, a theatre, a dance studio, a performing stage, a nail bar, a hairdressers, a Costas and a McDonalds.

I have recited this every night for about six years he never tires of it, some of it he suggested himself. Needless to say more often than not he falls into a deep untroubled sleep and I am so used to this routine that I fear I might have trouble sleeping if I did not complete it myself.

Off course when I share this with other parents they find it a little odd, certainly now he is in his twelfth year, but as far as I am concerned whatever it takes, for him and in turn me, to have a good nights sleep then it is worth the repetition. My only puzzlement is when will he decide that he no longer needs me to go through this routine? When is he going to start behaving like a young teenager, guarded of his space and time?  Bearing in mind that in six years he has missed this routine five times and each of these times I was not present. I ask the question, not expecting an answer like many things attached to my sons development, I know at the end ,the answer is not always what I expect.