There has been a lot said recently, mainly in the medical press,( it has yet to reach mainstream news) that in fact the Dr was right about MMR and it can in fact cause autism.This fact in itself for some I am sure is a bitter sweet pill to swallow , for my self well my son was diagnosed before he had the MMR .We purposefully declined requests to have him inoculated with the MMR because of the reports at the time coming out of Japan saying that tests had shown a connection with MMR and autism.

So where does that leave me and my son. From the information, I can glean that autism is a condition in its own right, and that the MMR might exasperate it, say from high functioning to a more severe form. It is hard for me, a mere layman, to accept that autism is caused by a physical interaction within the child's stomach. But I am not in full possession of the facts, nor am I a scientist.I am sure the argument will go on for many years to come , as it is very difficult to define autism, let alone find the cause.

I am still of the opinion that our world is far to frenetic, with sights and sounds bombarding us from all angles. I would like to see an experiment were the expectant mother is kept in a calm and peaceful environment in the last months of pregnancy, without any access to television, radio, newspapers, and magazines and the order of the day and all days would be long walks enjoying the sounds of nature. Off course it is not really a scientific way to discover the cause of autism as there is no way of knowing if the child was going to be born with autism.But perhaps if all pregnancies were conducted in this way who knows the incidents of autism might start to fall.

I am under no illusion about the above,it is really just an impossible dream, but what I do know is that most of the therapy for autistic children , is designed to open them up and expand their understanding as if some where along the way they decided to close down, as a form of protection.I have witnessed my son shutting down when everything around him has become too much, as he gets older he does this less and less.But when it happens it is obvious something is happening deep within his thoughts.

I can not describe my son as having a disability, although that is what the professionals say. I can not say that he suffers ,because I am very sure that he does not .In fact he seems to find fun and pleasure in the most abstract of things unlike the rest of us. In an effort though to somehow understand him and to have a better insight into how he is different from other children without autism . I sometimes compare him with what I call a 'natural boy'. For example a natural boy would not run down the street  laughing and screaming and making noises (not one of eleven , anyhow) A natural boy would tell his parents when he was hungry, he would also eat voraciously unlike my son.

I do not for one minute think that my son should be like the natural boy but I do gain some insight into what is going on inside my sons head . I think it is worth making a comparison. One important reason being it helps me to worry less when my son displays behaviour that is somewhat odd to the outsider, one who has little or no experience of autism might panic when faced with a child who insists on finishing books on certain days or takes two hours to eat a bowl of pasta (especially when it does not taste just right).

It is not the behaviour that troubles me, it is though, the fact that it persists, all be it in a milder form as he gets older. And that is where the 'natural boy ' comes in handy. I see that my son has the same aspirations as the natural boy he wants more or less the same things he just goes about them in a different way .

My heart was in my mouth as I watched my son cross a road, not a busy one I must add, he started a running commentary on what he was doing  and waved cars to go past him as he calculated the timing of when to cross, he also jumped in the air several times when he realised his timing was off. He succeeded in getting across the road , eventually . Much to my relief, I congratulated myself on not intervening and felt that he could be trusted in the future.  

Some might say it would be better just to except my son the way he is and get on with it , which for the most part is what I do . But , the fact is he will one day have to join the rest of the world , the world where there are more natural boys than autistic boys . A understanding of both to me at least is helpful.