The first year of exams has arrived , and we are into the fourth month of preparation , I say , we , because I consider ourselves to be a team if you like . It has been a long road to get to this stage and I think for my son it feels like just the beginning .
When I think of all the support he has received over the years ,all the different people who have been so involved in his development , I feel somewhat humbled . I am truly amazed at his progress , from the day I was told of his diagnosis to today , he has gone above and beyond mine and many others expectations .
I hope he has had time to catch his breath , I hope that I am able to facilitate that .
Because this is the first year of many , and I don't mind admitting I am feeling the pressure , if as he hopes , he goes on to further education in college or university , it is conceivable that the next 5 or 6 years of his life will be focused around exams . A daunting prospect for any one , for a person with autism it will be a challenge indeed .
I like many other parents feel that the pressure put on children in their first year of exams ( and they are still children ) is too great , almost as if the schools have another agenda , like they have to fill quotas to secure funding . Which is unfair on the pupils .
Even more unfair on the children with autism , as I have mentioned before ' inclusion ' has only been in existence for 15 or so years in the schools in this country , and as such the systems in place are as I see it open for tweaking . Educators I feel should be mindful of the fact that , with autism emotions can be amplified and intensified , I would wager that the majority of 'High Functioning ' autistic pupils are for the most part like icebergs . when it comes to their attitude to exams , we only see 10% of what is actually going on .
But why do our children , autistic or otherwise , have to be put on the treadmill so soon . What is wrong with maybe inspiring the children to do well , rather than pressuring them to do well .The outcome is the same , and with the former I would think their enthusiasm for learning would last long into old age.
Tuesday 7 November 2017
Saturday 2 September 2017
One size fits all
I am beginning to think that when it comes to secondary education , one size fits all . Which is not really my understanding of inclusion .
I was recently sent a text from my son's school saying ' your son is absent from school please confirm by text that he is not attending school today '.
Well my son left the house at the normal time to catch the bus to go to school . Naturally , if I am told, over an hour after he is due to be at school . That he is absent , I am going to be a little worried , given he is high functioning autistic.
When I receive texts while at work I can,t always read them immediately . The time that had elapsed since I had last seen my son that morning and reading the text was close to two hours .
I stopped what I was doing and called the school ,
I was told that he had probably arrived late and had not followed procedure ; ( signed a form at the school office , reporting his lateness ). The woman I spoke too , told me she would call me back as soon as she had located him .
I am usually calm in these situations , and can think rationally , but when my son leaves for school , that task becomes his life's work . Few other thoughts enter his head on the journey , he has a preferred seat on the bus , which is near to the bell on the bus so there will be no chance of him missing his stop . Obviously there are other pupils on the bus , but he does not rely on any one of them stopping the bus at the right stop.
I was called back within about 10 minutes and told that yes my son was at school he had arrived at 8.40 . School starts at 8.32 , he had missed registration and as there was a school assembly that day he he attended that and forgot to sign the lateness form . All was well again , a slow exhale .
I asked the woman at admin if it was possible that they could change the wording of the text , to late and not absent in these situations, and explained about my son's autism and how , when I receive these texts it sends a shiver through me .
She replied that these texts were automatically sent with out any concern given to the individual child but she would pass on my comments .
One size fits all ...............................................
I was recently sent a text from my son's school saying ' your son is absent from school please confirm by text that he is not attending school today '.
Well my son left the house at the normal time to catch the bus to go to school . Naturally , if I am told, over an hour after he is due to be at school . That he is absent , I am going to be a little worried , given he is high functioning autistic.
When I receive texts while at work I can,t always read them immediately . The time that had elapsed since I had last seen my son that morning and reading the text was close to two hours .
I stopped what I was doing and called the school ,
I was told that he had probably arrived late and had not followed procedure ; ( signed a form at the school office , reporting his lateness ). The woman I spoke too , told me she would call me back as soon as she had located him .
I am usually calm in these situations , and can think rationally , but when my son leaves for school , that task becomes his life's work . Few other thoughts enter his head on the journey , he has a preferred seat on the bus , which is near to the bell on the bus so there will be no chance of him missing his stop . Obviously there are other pupils on the bus , but he does not rely on any one of them stopping the bus at the right stop.
I was called back within about 10 minutes and told that yes my son was at school he had arrived at 8.40 . School starts at 8.32 , he had missed registration and as there was a school assembly that day he he attended that and forgot to sign the lateness form . All was well again , a slow exhale .
I asked the woman at admin if it was possible that they could change the wording of the text , to late and not absent in these situations, and explained about my son's autism and how , when I receive these texts it sends a shiver through me .
She replied that these texts were automatically sent with out any concern given to the individual child but she would pass on my comments .
One size fits all ...............................................
Wednesday 26 July 2017
Support Group
It has been some time since we have been involved in a organised support group . In the past they have proved sometime helpful , sometimes not so much .
But this one organised by the great NHS has proved to be very successful . It has involved both my son and I attending . The parents sat in a different room from the teenagers , all boys in this case . and over 12 weeks we worked through the program .
We covered very basic things . but as it turned out invaluable for an autistic young man .
The boys were given homework , a simple exercise ,they had to phone some one from the group and engage in a conversation for at least 5 minutes . They were given prompts for the call in the form of a sheet of diagrams . With things like a ball or a TV or a computer and so on . In order that if they were struggling for something to say they could reference the sheet of diagrams .
Each week they would review the homework . How it went , how long they talked ,what they talked about how did they end the conversation . Each boy had to phone someone or receive a call and they were paired with some one different every week .
Along side the phone calls they discussed such things as joining a conversation , leaving a conversation, knowing when you are not wanted in a group conversation , but most importantly they talked about having empathy for the people they were talking to . They were learning to understand the atmosphere if you like of a conversation , be it in a group or one to one .
This has proved invaluable to my son , and he has been applying what he has learnt to different scenarios as he encounters them .
What they talked about and learnt sounds so simple , and yet when interacting with other human beings , my son was struggling .
It brought be back to all the other things he has learnt over the years and how , when they seemed so obvious to me to him they were like unlocking a deep and complex puzzle .
But this one organised by the great NHS has proved to be very successful . It has involved both my son and I attending . The parents sat in a different room from the teenagers , all boys in this case . and over 12 weeks we worked through the program .
We covered very basic things . but as it turned out invaluable for an autistic young man .
The boys were given homework , a simple exercise ,they had to phone some one from the group and engage in a conversation for at least 5 minutes . They were given prompts for the call in the form of a sheet of diagrams . With things like a ball or a TV or a computer and so on . In order that if they were struggling for something to say they could reference the sheet of diagrams .
Each week they would review the homework . How it went , how long they talked ,what they talked about how did they end the conversation . Each boy had to phone someone or receive a call and they were paired with some one different every week .
Along side the phone calls they discussed such things as joining a conversation , leaving a conversation, knowing when you are not wanted in a group conversation , but most importantly they talked about having empathy for the people they were talking to . They were learning to understand the atmosphere if you like of a conversation , be it in a group or one to one .
This has proved invaluable to my son , and he has been applying what he has learnt to different scenarios as he encounters them .
What they talked about and learnt sounds so simple , and yet when interacting with other human beings , my son was struggling .
It brought be back to all the other things he has learnt over the years and how , when they seemed so obvious to me to him they were like unlocking a deep and complex puzzle .
Friday 20 January 2017
Talking in the car
Often my son and I talk when we are in the car . He always chooses the music , we have a vast collection of CDs in the car. I think that perhaps because we are not facing each other it makes it easier for him to talk . He is better able to talk about the things that make him tick , the things that he feels most deeply about , naturally over time he has become a fan of 80s music .
Now he tells me that he is happy to be autistic , he told me if he had a choice of being born with or with out autism , he would change nothing . To hear him say this fills me with great pride for his strength of character . He is obviously a great thinker and has been pondering his autistic status for some time now , he has recognised that the core of his being and personality are directly related to the fact he was born with autism .
He is an avid researcher and finds the internet a god send for some one like him , I don't know but I suspect he has been reading about Temple Grandin who is a great spokesperson for autistic people , as she is herself . In her own life she has had to overcome many difficulties .
At age 15 to say that he is happy with himself is a true achievement , given all the other obstacles to navigate in teenage . My hope is that he will start to recognise the advantages of autism , how it hones his clarity of thought , how it helps him to focus , how it helps when there are choices to be made and how much easier it seems for him , to find what he wants or needs .
Unlike so many of his peers , he does not run with the crowd . he does his own thing . It would appear that he does not have to contend with the clumsy feelings of inadequacy which so often visit his teenage schoolmates . It would seem that after watching the experiences of other teenagers , he feels at an advantage . Not that autism desensitises , far from it , but it does allow for a clearer view on the world . He is probably the least confused teenager I have met .
I am aware though that it is still early days and the future is full of new challenges , not least if romance should ever come his way . For the moment though I will savour this time a true achievement .
Now he tells me that he is happy to be autistic , he told me if he had a choice of being born with or with out autism , he would change nothing . To hear him say this fills me with great pride for his strength of character . He is obviously a great thinker and has been pondering his autistic status for some time now , he has recognised that the core of his being and personality are directly related to the fact he was born with autism .
He is an avid researcher and finds the internet a god send for some one like him , I don't know but I suspect he has been reading about Temple Grandin who is a great spokesperson for autistic people , as she is herself . In her own life she has had to overcome many difficulties .
At age 15 to say that he is happy with himself is a true achievement , given all the other obstacles to navigate in teenage . My hope is that he will start to recognise the advantages of autism , how it hones his clarity of thought , how it helps him to focus , how it helps when there are choices to be made and how much easier it seems for him , to find what he wants or needs .
Unlike so many of his peers , he does not run with the crowd . he does his own thing . It would appear that he does not have to contend with the clumsy feelings of inadequacy which so often visit his teenage schoolmates . It would seem that after watching the experiences of other teenagers , he feels at an advantage . Not that autism desensitises , far from it , but it does allow for a clearer view on the world . He is probably the least confused teenager I have met .
I am aware though that it is still early days and the future is full of new challenges , not least if romance should ever come his way . For the moment though I will savour this time a true achievement .
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