Every time I brought my son to see his mother,  I could not help thinking she was nervous about seeing him and also unsure how to act in his company. Mainly because every time I brought him,  she would confirm exactly how long he was to be in her charge,  at least twice before I left them."Okay" she would say nervously  "see you in four hours, four hours"
"Yeah " I would reply with a wave " four hours " and I admit with a hint of sarcasm in my voice. Considering he did not see his mother more than four times a year,  four hours was not a great deal of time to catch up or do much of anything,  but my son was unfazed like all his encounters with his mother he accepted them without question. Nor did he speak of them when I collected him.

Aware as I am of the need to talk about our concerns and troubles, it made me a little nervous that my son shared nothing of his visits with his mother. Hard enough to talk to any child about the separation of their parents, but to an autistic child, it was proving to be very complicated. When my son did not want to speak,  he just did not speak,  and no amount of persuasion techniques could inspire him to do otherwise. I spent a lot of time trying to ascertain if he did in fact need some kind of support, wondering often if he was feeling rejected or hurt by what had happened. I spoke to various professionals about my concerns and was told about the kind of support I could get.

For a child of his age and because he has autism, I was advised that a  counciler could,  through play,  try and coax out of him any concerns he might have. The question I was always asked was,  "do you notice anything different in his behaviour?". To be perfectly honest I did not notice any difference in him,  except to say he was always a little quiet,  just after he had seen his mum,  but after an hour or so he would be back to his normal self.  I spoke about my concerns to just about any one I thought would listen,  and one day I was talking to his teacher from the  first class he attended in Scotland. A very wise woman. She said quite simply " maybe he is just fine,  maybe he does not need to talk to any one" as she looked at me she smiled,  and not shirking from the obvious responsibility she was taking on she added " sometimes children have a far greater ability to handle their emotions than we give them credit for"

As for me well I don't think I will ever get off this learning curve.