As my six year anniversary approaches of  lone parenthood it occurs to me that I have become desensitized somewhat to my sons autism . What might seem a little odd to on lookers to me has become the norm, one of the perks if you like is that my son is not encumbered by the usual embarrassment most other children of his age possess. He happily walks along a street with me, his arm in my arm with not a thought to how it might look to others, even children he might know.

I have often thought to myself, how important a society is with diversity of character, how we should celebrate our differences and not feel we should always follow the crowd. as my son grows older it seems less and less likely that he will be one who follows. Although it is apparent to me that he curbs some of his more eccentric thoughts and actions when among his peers from his main stream school. When he is among other children on the autistic spectrum he fairly flies. In term time once a week he attends a club that was set up specifically for children on the spectrum. It is one of the most favorite times of his week. It lifts my heart to see the excitement on his face as he approaches the doors of the club and to witness the welcome he receives from the other children. Similarly he attends a play scheme for two weeks in the summer organised again for children on the spectrum this is possibly the happiest I see him,(except when he plays with his favorite cousin).

I know however that he has grappled with the fact that he has autism, perhaps not immediately on discovering this fact, which I am estimating happened about when he was aged nine, but certainly in recent months as he is now in his twelfth year of life. With quiet observation I have seen how he becomes a toned down version of himself when he is with the children from his school. I can see the challenge he faces on a daily basis to not cause alarm amongst his friends when he gets his uncontrollable urges to be 'autistic'. which to me is more about him celebrating life and all its wonders, than trying to impress or seem cool or different.

I know his friends at school also quietly envy him at times because of his lack of embarrassment, and how at times he will say or do what ever it is he is feeling at any given time. I also know these same friends will be with him as he grows older and moves to secondary school and that he will share with them the trials of puberty. Beyond that I have no idea what to expect. I am a little excited, a little nervous, and a little afraid.