It was my ex who was first approached by our son’s nursery teacher. Our arrangement was that I worked and she looked after our son, so anything pertaining to his health and well being she was the first response. In the most calm and diplomatic way his teacher explained that our son was not like other children of his age. She suggested that it might be a good idea to contact a child psychologist to set in motion the N.H.S. diagnostic process. My ex did not respond well to this and insisted that the teacher should first talk to me before we agreed to anything being done. For his mother, I think (and this is only a theory), she felt a failure; as if something was wrong with her DNA. For me, I felt relief finally that after 2 or so years I was going to get some kind of explanation for my son's behavior.

So I gave no resistance to the teacher’s suggestion when we met, and on returning home explained to my wife that it could do no harm. The first thing to organize was a meeting with several professionals all of whom would observe him at nursery, and after said observation we would all have a meeting to plan the way forward. In attendance was a children’s health co- ordinater, nursery  teacher, special needs teacher, speech and language therapist, and child psychologist. My wife and I were to attend later, after they had observed my son. 

We all sat around a child’s table on children’s seats, a comical sight I am sure but I could not raise a smile. His mother did not attend. Next was a home visit from the speech and language therapist, I think largely to see what his home life was like. She was there for an hour. My wife hid in the bedroom for half that time. That was when I began to realise I had more than one challenging member of my immediate family ...